The Tangerine Man

One of the biggest adjustments coming to Canada is dealing with the weather, but also, and I know I should be thankful during a Canadian winter, the mall. I mean, when the temperature outside plummets to a bone-chilling minus God-you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me! You are thankful for the mall.

But it’s not my favourite place to go and hang out. Even if it is with the Other Half. And less so when the expedition is about buying underwear. No, not for me, for her. It use to be straight forward enough, we went to Sears, she found her favourite Jockeys, bought as many packets as she thought she could get away with, always asking me if I needed to look (the answer was usually, no) and that was it.

A nice coffee somewhere, maybe even cake, and then home.

Now? Finding underwear has become a nightmare. She won’t go in Walmart. So Hudson’s Bay it is … except, when the price is enough to make your eyes water and wonder how much the mark up is on ladies panties. Significant it seems.

Anyway, I digress. All this to say we found ourself at La Stanza, well, I stood outside trying to look inconspicuous, while she hunted through the frillies for, well, whatever. I knew she would come out empty handed. But, in the meantime, if she came to the front of the shop holding up two pairs of panties, I was in for it. Big time. There is no right answer. Believe me.

So I turned away, and … came face to face with the Tangerine Man.

No, he wasn’t orange. Quite the opposite, in fact, kind of like he needed a few weekends out in the sun. Millennial goth perhaps? Who knows. My having turned and, inadvertently stepped into Tangerine’s booth area obviously triggered him, as he smiled and began his spiel. Me, Moose in the headlights, just stood there for a good five minutes till he had time to pause and ask me, “and would you like to open account today? It will only take five or six minutes to sign up.” And when I screwed up my face to say ‘no, thanks’ he quickly add, “there are no banking fees.”

And that’s how it happened.

The next thing I know I was opening a new bank account.